Chapter Three - In My Dreams

Visiting our favorite out of the way fishing pond, we bait and set up our reels for fishing. Throwing the lines we get our floaters out in the middle of the pond waiting for the fish to bite. He sets down his reel propped on a log near the shore of the pond, walks towards me and gives me a kiss on my neck, which instantaneously melts me to yearn for more of him. His hands move down my arms to my finger tips, releasing the reel from my hands, and placing it on the log by his. Returning to me, he kisses me on my neck, as if not missing a beat, and moves the kisses further towards my breasts, gently moving my shirt to the side to suck upon my nipples. His other hand is unbuttoning my shirt and both hands slide the shirt off from the back, allowing his hands to smoothly move to the back of my bra releasing it too the ground while nary missing a suckling motion on my nipples. He gently slides me on the blanket we had previoulsy laid on the ground, moving the hair out of my face and then working on removing the zipper on my pants. I am feeling his member swell next to me and I hold on tight while I am caressing his back. The heat of the passion takes off indeed and we make use of every square inch of that blanket, and then some. The bark of the tree became a friend in my hands as his member caused my back to arch feeling it swell through the depths of my own. I let out a scream of joy as he buries his member very deep in me, yearning for more to continue, until I could just take no more as orgasms have come multiple times in increasing vibrations and the kegels massages his member even faster. A new plateau that we had never reached before was felt, sensations of warmths swarmed our bodies and tingled as the cool breezes tickled our bare skins.

Nothing around us had mattered. We were definately into the moment of time, which had lasted hours into the sunny, but breezy, afternoon. I lay my head on his chest, as we often did after making love, and held him as tight as he was holding me. I could hear his heart beat; it was a comfort and a sense of closeness to hear that each day.

We had a relationship of closeness that I had felt with no other. With each passing year, we were so very into each other.

One evening though his cousin comes over to our home and we spend a evening with her and her boyfriend having barbque chicken on the grill, dinner, and playing some games -- Uno, Scabble, and others. During the course of the conversations, discussion was had about babies. She and her boyfriend had wanted babies, I wanted a baby, but my husband exploded that he didn't want to bring any child into this world. Although, we had playfully discussed this in the past, he was adamently and vehemently against having kids this night. I didn't know if it were just the liquor talking or him for real being real about it.

Slamming his hand down on our glass dining room table, he says, "God damn it! Why should we bring a child in this world? There are people starving in this world and we want to bring another into this world? How is that fair for them?", then (while standing up now) he continues, "There are wars all over the world? How are we to know that Armagedean isn't going to happen today or tomorrow?"

"Really, dear? Don't you believe that we can make the most of our lives today instead of constantly worrying about the future? after all, what good is worrying about tomorrow if we cannot enjoy today. You sound like you are still in the 60's with that mode of thinking."

"Hey, cousin, what would you do if your protection you use during sex breaks? What would you do?"

He turned around and said vehemently, "Abort. I WOULD NOT bring any child in this world."

We all gasped. We didn't know what to say and called it a night. It was clear that noone was going to bend his way of thinking.

Months later, I quivered in thought when the doctor told me that I was pregnant. The doctor didn't understand my reaction and asked me, "Aren't you excited?" "I am, doc, but I am afraid my husband won't be. He doesn't want to bring a child into this world. I have no idea how he will react." "Well, sometimes, it take a while for them to get used to the idea, but they do eventually come around and love the child as much as you will." I just don't know; I just remember how adament he was when his cousin and her boyfried was at our house.

"Hello, honey??? What time are you going to be home? Oh, nothing special; just want to know what time to have dinner ready tonight. Six o'clock? Fine. See ya' then. Love you too." I'll stop at the grocery store along the way to fix one of his favorite meals; perhaps that will put him in a better mood?

Candlelight dinner was prepared and set before he arrive home. Picking up things as a last minute thought throughout the house. I just didn't want anything to set him off. Things just set him off at times and I never knew why. I just tried to be the perfect wife and do what ever I could do to make things perfect inside the home. I sure couldn't fix the things that would occur to him at work or in the world outside, although sometimes I did get blamed for those as well.

The doors open. Is he mad or happy? I test the waters, "Hey, honey! Got dinner ready for us to have a quiet meal together for a change." Waiting for a moment and, upon hearing nothing angry come out of his mouth, I proceed, "I am sure that you are tired and have had a hard day. Why don't you go take a shower first before sitting down here with me?"

He showers and I hand him a fresh glass of ice tea to him as he sits down with me and we talk about everything under the sun, including casually bringing up our pregnancy news. He scoffed a bit, but nothing too bad. Perhaps, the dinner worked; perhaps, he was just tired. I put up the food and left the dishes for in the morning so I could lay down with my husband, with my head on his chest, and heard him say as he was falling asleep, "I love you."

I am so glad I married this man!